HOW TO PRACTICE FORGIVENESS

When a person forgives another, he is promising to do three things about the intended wrongdoing: not to use it against the wrongdoer in the future; not to talk about it to others; and not to dwell on it himself.  – Jay Adams

a.    Realize you cannot forgive without God’s help.

John 15:5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

b.    Forgive others as an act of your will, not as a reaction of your feelings.

              Three-step process:

1)    FACT – You are commanded by God to forgive.  So, the question, “Should I forgive”, is irrelevant.

2)    FAITH – My faith to forgive is based on His commandment to            forgive, not a feeling.  God will give you the strength.  Forgiveness is done as an act of your will.

3)    FEELING – Once you make the decision to forgive by faith, then your feelings will follow.

c.    Do not base your forgiving on the attitude of the wrongdoer or offender.

d.    Remind yourself of your own need of forgiveness.

Rom 5:6-8 For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

e.    Go to the Great Forgiver and release the wrongdoer in prayer. 

            A Prayer To Forgive Someone Who Has Wronged You: 

Father, I come to you in the name of Jesus.  I thank you for the forgiveness you have extended to me because of Christ’s shed blood.  I realize my continued need of forgiveness as a believer, because of my own sin and many shortcomings.  I also realize that I would be sinning against You if I refuse to forgive others who have sinned against me.  Therefore, in obedience to You and by an act of my own will and not my feelings, I forgive ___________ .  I release them from my self-made prison.  I have no right to get even; for all vengeance belong to You.  I thank you Lord for giving me the power to forgive them in Jesus’ name,  Amen.

LOOKING FOR A CHURCH THAT WILL PRAY LIKE THIS

The early church, namely the church of the book of Acts, presents to us an unbeatable pattern of prayer. How they prayed should be our utmost desire and envy. Their fervency in prayer was an over-flow of their minute-by-minute dependence on God. As persecution and suffering mounted, prayer issued from their hearts like an untapped fountain. And as they prayed, you can't help but sense as you read the text, a joy that is otherworldly. In Acts chapter 4, when their leaders Peter and John were put in prison, it unleashed a torrent of prayer that resulted in an in-filling of the Holy Spirit. Their praying was:

SPONTANEOUS - Acts 4:24 - Unrehearsed and united

SPIRIT-FILLED - Acts 4:31 - Only Spirit-filled saints can pray Spirit-filled prayers.

SCRIPTURAL - Acts 4:24-28 - Their praying was according to the revealed truth they knew from the writings of the Old Testament and from the revelation they had received from the mouths of the Apostles.

Oh, how I long for a church that will pray like this!

TIGER WOODS, BRIT HUME AND JESUS CHRIST

Unless you have been living in an igloo, by now you have heard about the marital indiscretions of famed golfer, Tiger Woods. I did not use the term "alleged" since Woods has admitted to marital "transgressions" and "personal failings" in an apology letter on his official website.

However, you may not have heard about a bit of unsolicited advise given to Tiger Woods by news journalist and former Fox News anchor, Brit Hume. Hume, in a bold, cut to the chase fashion urged Tiger to accept the "forgiveness and redemption offered by the Christian faith." For this advise, Hume has been vilified and ridiculed.

MSNBC's, David Shuster, called Hume's advise, "embarassing." Hume was lampooned and caricatured by Jon Stewart on The Daily Show. Additionally, he has been accused of proselytizing and disrespecting the Buddhist faith - the purported religion of Tiger Woods.

In my own, cut to the chase fashion, here are four things to keep in mind:

1. If Tiger is a Buddhist or follows some other religion, he needs the forgiveness of Jesus Christ.


2. Yes, salvation comes only through Jesus Christ. To say or imply this will always invite the wrath of those who are enemies of the Cross.


3. Brit Hume did what any true Christian (assuming he is one) should do - point a sinner to Jesus Christ and Him alone.


4. We must never kowtow to the pressure of putting Christianity on an equal plane with other religions.

The real crisis for Tiger Woods is not salvaging his marriage and career (though his marriage is immensely important.) The real crisis for him is the condition of his soul. A soul without the forgiveness of Jesus Christ will face eternal damnation and separation from God. Tiger Woods, just like all of us, needs a foreign rightousness that is outside of himself - an extraneous rightousness imputed to him by God through Christ.

This is the most important advise you can ever give a sinner. Brit Hume or any other Christian will pay a price for daring to do so. Tiger Woods will pay an infinitely higher price if he rejects it. This is no doubt the most important piece of unsolicited advise he will ever hear.

I pray that Tiger accepts it.

A CONCLUDING THOUGHT FOR THE BEGINNING OF A NEW YEAR

This is the time of year when most of us will look back on 2009 with a critical eye. Some of us, depending on how hard we are on ourselves, will hate what we see at best or feel like hiding under a rock at worse. As a result, we will resolve to do better - better with our money, better with our relationships, better with our careers, better with our health and better with our spirituality. Then there are those self-deceived souls that harbor illusions of grandeur and feel that they are just fine - no adjustments necessary.

Purse and Pride

Most people look at how well they fared in 2009 in terms of their net worth and self worth. Net worth has to do with our purse, whereas self worth relates to pride. The year 2oo9 with its economic downturn tested the survival of both. According to the Federal Reserve, household net worth hit its lowest point ($48.5 trillion) during the first quarter of 2009. That new low was preceeded by three consecutive quarterly declines in 2008. Many experts are saying that it will be quite some time before household net worth reaches the historic high just two years ago.

According to some experts, King Solomon, the wealthiest person in the Bible, had an estimated yearly income measured by today's value of over $280 million. Yet Solomon near the end of his life, saw the folly in protecting his purse and pride at the expense of pleasing God. I want to echo his concluding words about life at the beginning of this new year,

"Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man." Ecclesiastes 12:13

Actually, the word duty in the verse was added by the translators. We can say that fearing God and keeping his commandments are the "whole of man." In other words, fearing God is the sine qua non of a life pleasing to Him. Without it nothing else really matters in comparison. Regardless of your self-assessment of how well you did in 2009, what really matters is fearing God and keeping His commandments.

What is the fear of the Lord?

The fear of the Lord is a desire or longing within us and a drawing outside of us to be close to God in reverential obedience.

God is the source of the longing within and the drawing without. He gets all the glory. Oswald Chambers wrote, "The remarkable thing about fearing God is that when you fear God, you fear nothing else; whereas when you do not fear God, you fear everything else." So, the big question is this, "What do you fear?"

Remember, whom you fear determines what you fear!

NO GREATER WITNESS

THERE IS NO GREATER WITNESS FOR CHRIST THAN A GODLY MARRIAGE.

How a man relates to his wife is the primary focus in building a healthy marriage. Here are three things a husband should do towards his wife: Love Her, Lead Her and Listen to Her.

LOVE HER

There is absolutely no mistake about it. The Christian husband is commanded by God to love his wife as Christ loved the Church. So brothers, the key to loving your wife is finding out how Christ loves the Church. It is given to us in Ephesians 5:25-31.

LEAD HER

To lead simply means to go before or to show the way. The husband is in a position of headship and leadership.
Ref. Ephesians 5:23; I Cor. 11:3, 8, 9; I Tim. 2:13

LISTEN TO HER

One of the most common complaints wives have about their husbands is, “My husband doesn’t listen to me.” Husbands usually find it hard to listen especially when their wives talk about problems. According to Jim Gray, in his book Men Are From Mars and Women are from Venus, men find it hard to listen because he feels she is holding him responsible; she talks about a problem he can do nothing about; or he is waiting for her to get to the bottom line and she keeps going and going and going and going…

This is what I've learned:

Listening shows INTEREST- she feels VALUED.
Listening secures INFORMATON - she feels VALIDATED.
Listening starts INTIMACY - she feels VINDICATED.

Remember guys, it is so easy for us to get side-tracked and neglect to LOVE, LEAD and LISTEN to our wives. Here's the key - love her like you would your own body; lead her as if you were in her place; listen to her as if every word were as important as a precious rain drop in a dry desert.

HOW IS A PERSON ADMITTED INTO THE PRIMITIVE BAPTIST CHURCH?

As some of you are aware, I am an ordained minister in the Primitive Baptist Church. For the past four years, I have had the privilege of teaching a class of my fellow ministers from our Church Discipline at our annual Church School Convention. Our Discipline is a document that contains our Articles of Faith and bylaws. This year I chose to teach on how our denomination admits members. Below is a skeletel outline of the teaching.

1. ADMISSION BY LETTER

a. Courtesy

Each church owes the other the courtesy of sending a letter or asking for a letter.

b. Connection

By presenting a letter, the prospective church member is expressing a desire to connect with a church of like faith.

c. Continuation

The letter enables a prospective church member to join another church without a break in membership.

d. Commendation

The letter is basically a note of commendation which certifies the person’s character and standing with their previous church.

2. ADMISSION BY CHRISTIAN EXPERIENCE

a. Communication

A person without a letter should clearly communicate to their new church an account of their conversion and Christian life. If this is not clearly communicated, then the church in which they desire membership has no basis to admit them.

b. Confession

The new member should make a public confession of faith in Christ (not to become a Christian because they have already trusted Christ as Savior and Lord) before the church they wish to join.

3. ADMISSION BY BAPTISM

a. Candidacy

The person seeks admission in the universal Church and the local Church. He is a seeker.

b. Confession

The Bible is clear that before one is saved he must confess Jesus Christ as Lord. The word confession simply means to agree with the Word about who Jesus Christ is. (Romans 10:9-10; Matthew 16:16)

c. Conversion

Conversion occurs when one believes the Gospel. Dr. Lorraine Boettner defines the Gospel as, “The good news about the great salvation purchased by Jesus Christ, by which He reconciled sinful men to a holy God.” Mark Dever says the Gospel is about how God “graciously sent His Son to die the death we deserved for our sin, and He has credited Christ's acquittal to those who repent of their sins and believe in Jesus' death and resurrection.”

d. Ceremony

Baptism is a ceremony, a Christian rite. Properly administered, it is to follow conversion. Baptism is an outward symbol of an inward work of grace. This inward work of grace is the salvation of an undeserving sinner who has placed his trust in the finished work of Christ on the Cross. (Matthew 28:18-19)

FAITH IN THE POWER OF THE GOSPEL

One of the most fascinating occurrences in nature is the transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly through metamorphosis. This process has baffled scientists for centuries. An ugly caterpillar spins a cocoon and emerges from it as a beautiful butterfly. This transformation is a fitting object lesson to illustrate the power of the Gospel to save the lost.

Mosab Hassan Yousef can testify to the power of the Gospel. He is a recent convert to Christianity. What makes Mosab's conversion unique is that he is a former Muslim reared in a strict Islamic home and his father is an influential leader in the terrorist organization, Hamas. History is replete with evidence attesting to the power of the Gospel to save. Yet many in Christendom seem to not have confidence in the power of the simple, pure Gospel. When churches spend thousands of dollars to conduct marketing analyses and surveys to find the felt needs of weekly attendees. When they devise programs to improve the self esteem of attendees seeking a better life, this indicates a lack of faith in the power of the Gospel. C. H. Spurgeon said, "Never lose heart in the power of the gospel. Do not believe that there exists any man, much less any race of men, for whom the gospel is not fitted."

Paul, the apostle, was wholly convinced of the power of the Gospel when he wrote in Romans 1:16-17, "For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith ; as it is written, "but the righteous man shall live by faith." We can have faith in the power of the Gospel because the Gospel is the power of God.

This power is demonstrated three ways in Romans 1:15-17

THE GOSPEL IS THE POWER OF GOD PARTICULARLY - because it is the Gospel of Christ. It is of Him, by Him and through Him. George Owen said, "The world has many religions; it has but one gospel." The power of the Gospel is derived from its exclusivity. All other messages are excluded. The moment the Gospel is made to be inclusive of other ways and beliefs, it has no power and is no longer the Gospel of Christ. (1:16)

THE GOSPEL IS THE POWER OF GOD DECLARATIVELY - because God demonstrates His power by providing a means whereby the Gospel is declared despite enormous opposition, persecution and suffering. In other words, inherent in the Gospel message is the power to preach it! Paul knew that going to Rome to preach the Gospel would be met with much opposition, yet he boldly proclaims, "I am ready to preach the gospel to you that are at Rome also." (1:15) Emperor Nero of Rome during the first century inflicted unspeakable cruelties against the Church. Foxes Book of Martyrs records that Nero, "contrived all manner of punishments for the Christians that the most infernal imagination could design. In particular, he had some sewed up in skins of wild beasts, and then worried by dogs until they expired...This persecution was general throughout the whole Roman Empire; but it rather increased than diminished the spirit of Christianity."

THE GOSPEL IS THE POWER OF GOD REGENERATIVELY - because it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believe. (1: 16) The power to save is in the Gospel. In this verse, the word power is dunamis in the Greek. According to the NAS New Testament Greek Lexicon, it means inherent power, power residing in a thing by virtue of its nature.

WHY DOES THE GOSPEL SAVE? - because in the Gospel the righteousness of God is revealed. (1:17) Since the righteousness of God is necessary for salvation to be obtained and the Gospel is the only place where that righteousness can be found, we have to conclude that that is what gives the Gospel its power! This is exactly what Paul is getting at. John Piper puts it this way, “What is revealed in the gospel is the righteousness of God for us that he demands from us. The reason the gospel is the power of God for salvation - the way that the gospel saves believers is that in it God reveals a righteousness for us that God demands from us. What we had to have, but could not create or supply or perform, God gives us freely, namely, his own righteousness, the righteousness of God.”

Hallelujah!

We can have faith in the power of the Gospel!

Three Important Contributions Fathers Make To Their Families

(I recently contributed an article in Wisermen Magazine about the importance of fatherhood. Here is an excerpt from the article. I hope it inspires more fathers to be the servant-leaders God has ordained them to be.)

In Luke chapter 15, Jesus tells the story of the prodigal son. In this story a young man asks his father for the portion of the inheritance due him. He takes the inheritance and then leaves for a far country and wastes his substance on riotous living. In other words, he began to live an unprincipled life devoid of constraint and moral boundaries.

This story is titled after its so-called main character, the prodigal son. However, a closer examination of this story shows us that the main character is the father and the central theme is his unconditional love for a son who has gone astray. In this story we see three important contributions the father made in the life of his son. These contributions are just as relevant today as they were over two thousand years ago when Jesus told the story. Before we examine these three contributions, lets answer the question, what is a father?

In the Hebrew language, the word for father is ab. It means source or sustainer. To be an ab one must produce and sustain his offspring. The Greek word for father is pater. It means source, nourisher and sustainer.

God is the Father of creation. He is the source and sustainer of creation and the universe. Hebrews 1:3 says that God upholds and sustains all things by the word of His power. God did not create the universe and then abandon it. The universe is presently being sustained and kept by the word of His power. Just as God sustains what He has created, a human father also sustains and takes care of the children he produces.

The first contribution a father makes to his family is giving them an IDENTITY. A family is identified by its founder or father. More specifically, children receive their identity through their father. In verse 19 of Luke chapter 15, the prodigal son rehearsed saying to his father, “ I am no more worthy to be called thy son.” His identity was interwoven within his father.

Identity can be broken down in three key areas – name, values and character. When a father gives his family his name, values and character, we can truly say he has given them an identity. An excellent example of this is in Genesis 18: 17-19, “And the Lord said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do; Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.” (Emphasis added by author.)

David Blankenhorn in his book, “Fatherless America”, calls the passing along of these three things (name, values and character), “paternal cultural transmission.” This transmission from the father to his children is the most contributing factor of their identity.

The second key contribution fathers make to their families is SECURITY. In verse 17 of Luke chapter 15 the prodigal son says, “How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!” He was at the point of starvation, yet he knew there was security at his father’s house.

A father provides security to his family through provision and protection. This is why the wife and children naturally look to the father for security. The woman did not come from the soil. She came out of the man. (I Corinthians 11:8-9) The man is therefore, the source and sustainer of the woman. The Bible never says the woman should leave her father to find a mate. Only the man leaves the security of his parents to find a mate. He is to find a woman who is under the security of her father and then marry her and continue to provide security to her. In a sense, when a woman marries, she comes under another father – her husband. (Genesis 2:23-24)

The third key contribution a father makes to his family is STABILITY. This stability comes in the form of commitment and consistency. There is hardly anything more devastating to a family than a father who is not committed and is inconsistent in his care and devotion. The prodigal son knew that at his father’s house there was stability because his father was committed to him and was consistent in his love towards him. This is beautifully illustrated when the son finally returns home. Instead of greeting his wayward son with scolding and condemnation, the father was overjoyed to see him and honored him with a new wardrobe and a festive celebration! (Luke 15:20-24)

The father’s words are profoundly indicative of his heart attitude towards his son, “For this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.”

As I stated earlier, the key character in this story is not the son, but rather the father. His actions and attitude mirror our heavenly Father’s unconditional love for us, His children. Despite our often disobedience and foolish decisions, He never wavers in His love for us. In I John 3:1, it says, “Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God.”

If you are a Christian father with a family, there is an enormous responsibility on your shoulders to provide them with an IDENTITY, SECURITY and STABILITY. You may have failed miserably in these areas, but you can look to your heavenly Father, who is the Father of mercy and the God of all comfort. You can do all things through Him. Ask Him in prayer to give you the strength and wisdom to love your family unconditionally.