Three Important Contributions Fathers Make To Their Families

(I recently contributed an article in Wisermen Magazine about the importance of fatherhood. Here is an excerpt from the article. I hope it inspires more fathers to be the servant-leaders God has ordained them to be.)

In Luke chapter 15, Jesus tells the story of the prodigal son. In this story a young man asks his father for the portion of the inheritance due him. He takes the inheritance and then leaves for a far country and wastes his substance on riotous living. In other words, he began to live an unprincipled life devoid of constraint and moral boundaries.

This story is titled after its so-called main character, the prodigal son. However, a closer examination of this story shows us that the main character is the father and the central theme is his unconditional love for a son who has gone astray. In this story we see three important contributions the father made in the life of his son. These contributions are just as relevant today as they were over two thousand years ago when Jesus told the story. Before we examine these three contributions, lets answer the question, what is a father?

In the Hebrew language, the word for father is ab. It means source or sustainer. To be an ab one must produce and sustain his offspring. The Greek word for father is pater. It means source, nourisher and sustainer.

God is the Father of creation. He is the source and sustainer of creation and the universe. Hebrews 1:3 says that God upholds and sustains all things by the word of His power. God did not create the universe and then abandon it. The universe is presently being sustained and kept by the word of His power. Just as God sustains what He has created, a human father also sustains and takes care of the children he produces.

The first contribution a father makes to his family is giving them an IDENTITY. A family is identified by its founder or father. More specifically, children receive their identity through their father. In verse 19 of Luke chapter 15, the prodigal son rehearsed saying to his father, “ I am no more worthy to be called thy son.” His identity was interwoven within his father.

Identity can be broken down in three key areas – name, values and character. When a father gives his family his name, values and character, we can truly say he has given them an identity. An excellent example of this is in Genesis 18: 17-19, “And the Lord said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do; Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.” (Emphasis added by author.)

David Blankenhorn in his book, “Fatherless America”, calls the passing along of these three things (name, values and character), “paternal cultural transmission.” This transmission from the father to his children is the most contributing factor of their identity.

The second key contribution fathers make to their families is SECURITY. In verse 17 of Luke chapter 15 the prodigal son says, “How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!” He was at the point of starvation, yet he knew there was security at his father’s house.

A father provides security to his family through provision and protection. This is why the wife and children naturally look to the father for security. The woman did not come from the soil. She came out of the man. (I Corinthians 11:8-9) The man is therefore, the source and sustainer of the woman. The Bible never says the woman should leave her father to find a mate. Only the man leaves the security of his parents to find a mate. He is to find a woman who is under the security of her father and then marry her and continue to provide security to her. In a sense, when a woman marries, she comes under another father – her husband. (Genesis 2:23-24)

The third key contribution a father makes to his family is STABILITY. This stability comes in the form of commitment and consistency. There is hardly anything more devastating to a family than a father who is not committed and is inconsistent in his care and devotion. The prodigal son knew that at his father’s house there was stability because his father was committed to him and was consistent in his love towards him. This is beautifully illustrated when the son finally returns home. Instead of greeting his wayward son with scolding and condemnation, the father was overjoyed to see him and honored him with a new wardrobe and a festive celebration! (Luke 15:20-24)

The father’s words are profoundly indicative of his heart attitude towards his son, “For this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.”

As I stated earlier, the key character in this story is not the son, but rather the father. His actions and attitude mirror our heavenly Father’s unconditional love for us, His children. Despite our often disobedience and foolish decisions, He never wavers in His love for us. In I John 3:1, it says, “Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God.”

If you are a Christian father with a family, there is an enormous responsibility on your shoulders to provide them with an IDENTITY, SECURITY and STABILITY. You may have failed miserably in these areas, but you can look to your heavenly Father, who is the Father of mercy and the God of all comfort. You can do all things through Him. Ask Him in prayer to give you the strength and wisdom to love your family unconditionally.